Saturday, April 11, 2009
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Till Death Do Us Part
This semester I am in a US Constitution class with hands-down the best professor I've ever had in my college career; Professor Ira Carmen. He's a genius, pushes me to develop my own opinions about the constitution, and motivates me to do my best work. Being in his class has made me realize how exceptionally mediocre all of my other professors are.
Recently, both Iowa (last Friday) and Vermont (today) legalized same-sex marriage. The Iowa Supreme Court voided a law banning gay marriage, and Vermont legislature overrode their governors veto of a bill allowing gay couples to marry. Yesterday Professor Carmen expressed his disapproval specifically of Iowa's Supreme Court action, on the grounds that a judges responsibility is not to "create" rights, which is reminiscent of substantive due process. Highlighting the fact that "heterosexual", "homosexual", nor "marriage" is mentioned in the Constitution of the United States, he said that legislatures are there for a reason, and the people should elect representatives to pass laws that reflect their interests.
My personal stance on the issue is that same sex marriage should be legalized through the legislative process, however his points were a new line of thought that I had never considered, the notion that marriage itself is not even a fundamental right. What do you think?
Amerykhan Promise
Among other things (exposed brick, industrial sinks), these are the types of kitschy cool accents I would like to have in my first mansion/apartment/shack/house. I wonder if I'll still be able to get one when that time comes..
via NewbornRodeo
Vespanomics
I'm trying to recall when my Vespa obsession first started...I think it was in 2007 when they came out with a striped Gap special edition one for xmas. I would have given my left arm to own that thing. Anyway, I'm sure I will in the very near future. In the meantime, check out their website and the very cool environmentally friendly benefits of owning one. I'm talking reduced consumption, increased gas mileage, and reduced CO2 emissions. Yay!
Monday, April 6, 2009
Things I hate about working in an office
If you never worked in an office you may not have heard these, but I am certain they are common in any workplace. Personally I have worked in three or four different offices and these phrases drive me crazy
1."Shoot you an email" and "touch base" ---Really? "shoot" the email? With a cannon? some sort of advanced rifle? And which base? first? third? home plate?
2.Circle Back--You know what? Let's table this and circle back to it after we've clarified our other objectives."
3. In Concert--"Yes, we are in concert with that date","We are in concert with that concept", "I'm in concert with that point of view"
4.With pleasure-"It doesn't pleasure me to tell you this, but..."---that shit is creepy
5. Drill Down-- Would you "drill down" on this issue?
6.In the weeds--You're "in the weeds."
7."Are we on the same page?"--If we're having this conversation clearly we are not on the same page, so why do you ask
8. Or a cunt will mess around and say something like this-- "We need to leverage our technology to create synergy that will capture the white space in the marketplace while capturing the loyalty of our existing customer-base with cross-sell opportunities."--This means nothing, I dont know what your talking about
9. Paradigm-- Paradigm Shift---does anyone know what this is, have you ever seen one--can a paradigm just get up and shift
10. Let's keep that on our radar
11. "Bandwidth", when used to refer to anything but technology
12. "Wearing hats"-- Let me put my manger hat on, etc, etc
13. "What can I say its a monday"/"Sound's like someone has a case of the Monday's" and "Happy Friday."- are by far the most annoying and are typically used by the most purposeless person in the office, i dont know how to respond to either and I usually just walk away
Other include:
"Batten down the hatches"
"Circle the wagons"
"Hit the ground running"
"Brainstorm"
"Lets get our ducks in a row"
something like this-- "Ok I want you to de-prioritize your current items and make this your primary action"
"pick your brain"
"Working hard or hardly working?"--this is actually one of the most annoying ones
"for your f.y.i."
Other thing I hate are:
-Inspirational messages used in an email signature
-Email stationaries--they usually freeze my outlook
-Any type of acronym
-Unnecessary hand gestures
-Office cliques
-Someone walking up and just standing next/or over me and saying nothing until I say whats up
-Getting trapped outside the office with someone you particularly can't stand, say on a walk to the train station, etc
-Someone trying to be a hero with the thermostat
-Being forced to look at a photo of someones ugly child
-Having your named shortened--typically by a white person
The degree to which these thing annoy is usually dependent on who is saying/doing them
1."Shoot you an email" and "touch base" ---Really? "shoot" the email? With a cannon? some sort of advanced rifle? And which base? first? third? home plate?
2.Circle Back--You know what? Let's table this and circle back to it after we've clarified our other objectives."
3. In Concert--"Yes, we are in concert with that date","We are in concert with that concept", "I'm in concert with that point of view"
4.With pleasure-"It doesn't pleasure me to tell you this, but..."---that shit is creepy
5. Drill Down-- Would you "drill down" on this issue?
6.In the weeds--You're "in the weeds."
7."Are we on the same page?"--If we're having this conversation clearly we are not on the same page, so why do you ask
8. Or a cunt will mess around and say something like this-- "We need to leverage our technology to create synergy that will capture the white space in the marketplace while capturing the loyalty of our existing customer-base with cross-sell opportunities."--This means nothing, I dont know what your talking about
9. Paradigm-- Paradigm Shift---does anyone know what this is, have you ever seen one--can a paradigm just get up and shift
10. Let's keep that on our radar
11. "Bandwidth", when used to refer to anything but technology
12. "Wearing hats"-- Let me put my manger hat on, etc, etc
13. "What can I say its a monday"/"Sound's like someone has a case of the Monday's" and "Happy Friday."- are by far the most annoying and are typically used by the most purposeless person in the office, i dont know how to respond to either and I usually just walk away
Other include:
"Batten down the hatches"
"Circle the wagons"
"Hit the ground running"
"Brainstorm"
"Lets get our ducks in a row"
something like this-- "Ok I want you to de-prioritize your current items and make this your primary action"
"pick your brain"
"Working hard or hardly working?"--this is actually one of the most annoying ones
"for your f.y.i."
Other thing I hate are:
-Inspirational messages used in an email signature
-Email stationaries--they usually freeze my outlook
-Any type of acronym
-Unnecessary hand gestures
-Office cliques
-Someone walking up and just standing next/or over me and saying nothing until I say whats up
-Getting trapped outside the office with someone you particularly can't stand, say on a walk to the train station, etc
-Someone trying to be a hero with the thermostat
-Being forced to look at a photo of someones ugly child
-Having your named shortened--typically by a white person
The degree to which these thing annoy is usually dependent on who is saying/doing them
Etheridge Knight
Dark Prophecy: I Sing Of Shine
And, yeah brothers
while white America sings about the unsinkable molly brown
(who was hustling the titanic
when it went down)
I sing to thee of Shine
the stoker who was hip enough to flee the fucking ship
and let the white folks drown
with screams on their lips
(jumped his black ass into the dark sea, Shine did,
broke free from the straining steel).
Yeah, I sing to thee of Shine
and how the millionaire banker stood on the deck
and pulled from his pockets a million dollar check
saying Shine Shine save poor me
and I'll give you all the money a black boy needs—
how Shine looked at the money and then at the sea
and said jump in muthafucka and swim like me—
and Shine swam on—Shine swam on—
and how the banker's daughter ran naked on the deck
with her pink tits trembling and her pants roun her neck
screaming Shine Shine save poor me
and I'll give you all the pussy a black boy needs—
how Shine said now pussy is good and that's no jive
but you got to swim not fuck to stay alive—
And Shine swam on Shine Swam on—
How Shine swam past a preacher afloating on a board
crying save me nigger Shine in the name of the Lord—
and how the preacher grabbed Shine's arm and broke his stroke—
how Shine pulled his shank and cut the preacher's throat—
And Shine swam on—Shine swam on—
And when news hit shore that the titanic had sunk
Shine was up in Harlem damn near drunk
Feeling Fucked Up
Lord she's gone done left me done packed / up and split
and I with no way to make her
come back and everywhere the world is bare
bright bone white crystal sand glistens
dope death dead dying and jiving drove
her away made her take her laughter and her smiles
and her softness and her midnight sighs--
Fuck Coltrane and music and clouds drifting in the sky
fuck the sea and trees and the sky and birds
and alligators and all the animals that roam the earth
fuck marx and mao fuck fidel and nkrumah and
democracy and communism fuck smack and pot
and red ripe tomatoes fuck joseph fuck mary fuck
god jesus and all the disciples fuck fanon nixon
and malcom fuck the revolution fuck freedom fuck
the whole muthafucking thing
all i want now is my woman back
so my soul can sing
The Idea of Ancestry
1
Taped to the wall of my cell are 47 pictures: 47 black
faces: my father, mother, grandmothers (1 dead), grand-
fathers (both dead), brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts,
cousins (1st and 2nd), nieces, and nephews. They stare
across the space at me sprawling on my bunk. I know
their dark eyes, they know mine. I know their style,
they know mine. I am all of them, they are all of me;
they are farmers, I am a thief, I am me, they are thee.
I have at one time or another been in love with my mother,
1 grandmother, 2 sisters, 2 aunts (1 went to the asylum),
and 5 cousins. I am now in love with a 7-yr-old niece
(she sends me letters in large block print, and
her picture is the only one that smiles at me).
I have the same name as 1 grandfather, 3 cousins, 3 nephews,
and 1 uncle. The uncle disappeared when he was 15, just took
off and caught a freight (they say). He's discussed each year
when the family has a reunion, he causes uneasiness in
the clan, he is an empty space. My father's mother, who is 93
and who keeps the Family Bible with everbody's birth dates
(and death dates) in it, always mentions him. There is no
place in her Bible for "whereabouts unknown."
2
Each fall the graves of my grandfathers call me, the brown
hills and red gullies of mississippi send out their electric
messages, galvanizing my genes. Last yr/like a salmon quitting
the cold ocean-leaping and bucking up his birth stream/I
hitchhiked my way from LA with 16 caps in my pocket and a
monkey on my back. And I almost kicked it with the kinfolks.
I walked barefooted in my grandmother's backyard/I smelled the
old
land and the woods/I sipped cornwhiskey from fruit jars with the
men/
I flirted with the women/I had a ball till the caps ran out
and my habit came down. That night I looked at my grandmother
and split/my guts were screaming for junk/but I was almost
contented/I had almost caught up with me.
(The next day in Memphis I cracked a croaker's crib for a fix.)
This yr there is a gray stone wall damming my stream, and when
the falling leaves stir my genes, I pace my cell or flop on my bunk
and stare at 47 black faces across the space. I am all of them,
they are all of me, I am me, they are thee, and I have no children
to float in the space between.
And, yeah brothers
while white America sings about the unsinkable molly brown
(who was hustling the titanic
when it went down)
I sing to thee of Shine
the stoker who was hip enough to flee the fucking ship
and let the white folks drown
with screams on their lips
(jumped his black ass into the dark sea, Shine did,
broke free from the straining steel).
Yeah, I sing to thee of Shine
and how the millionaire banker stood on the deck
and pulled from his pockets a million dollar check
saying Shine Shine save poor me
and I'll give you all the money a black boy needs—
how Shine looked at the money and then at the sea
and said jump in muthafucka and swim like me—
and Shine swam on—Shine swam on—
and how the banker's daughter ran naked on the deck
with her pink tits trembling and her pants roun her neck
screaming Shine Shine save poor me
and I'll give you all the pussy a black boy needs—
how Shine said now pussy is good and that's no jive
but you got to swim not fuck to stay alive—
And Shine swam on Shine Swam on—
How Shine swam past a preacher afloating on a board
crying save me nigger Shine in the name of the Lord—
and how the preacher grabbed Shine's arm and broke his stroke—
how Shine pulled his shank and cut the preacher's throat—
And Shine swam on—Shine swam on—
And when news hit shore that the titanic had sunk
Shine was up in Harlem damn near drunk
Feeling Fucked Up
Lord she's gone done left me done packed / up and split
and I with no way to make her
come back and everywhere the world is bare
bright bone white crystal sand glistens
dope death dead dying and jiving drove
her away made her take her laughter and her smiles
and her softness and her midnight sighs--
Fuck Coltrane and music and clouds drifting in the sky
fuck the sea and trees and the sky and birds
and alligators and all the animals that roam the earth
fuck marx and mao fuck fidel and nkrumah and
democracy and communism fuck smack and pot
and red ripe tomatoes fuck joseph fuck mary fuck
god jesus and all the disciples fuck fanon nixon
and malcom fuck the revolution fuck freedom fuck
the whole muthafucking thing
all i want now is my woman back
so my soul can sing
The Idea of Ancestry
1
Taped to the wall of my cell are 47 pictures: 47 black
faces: my father, mother, grandmothers (1 dead), grand-
fathers (both dead), brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts,
cousins (1st and 2nd), nieces, and nephews. They stare
across the space at me sprawling on my bunk. I know
their dark eyes, they know mine. I know their style,
they know mine. I am all of them, they are all of me;
they are farmers, I am a thief, I am me, they are thee.
I have at one time or another been in love with my mother,
1 grandmother, 2 sisters, 2 aunts (1 went to the asylum),
and 5 cousins. I am now in love with a 7-yr-old niece
(she sends me letters in large block print, and
her picture is the only one that smiles at me).
I have the same name as 1 grandfather, 3 cousins, 3 nephews,
and 1 uncle. The uncle disappeared when he was 15, just took
off and caught a freight (they say). He's discussed each year
when the family has a reunion, he causes uneasiness in
the clan, he is an empty space. My father's mother, who is 93
and who keeps the Family Bible with everbody's birth dates
(and death dates) in it, always mentions him. There is no
place in her Bible for "whereabouts unknown."
2
Each fall the graves of my grandfathers call me, the brown
hills and red gullies of mississippi send out their electric
messages, galvanizing my genes. Last yr/like a salmon quitting
the cold ocean-leaping and bucking up his birth stream/I
hitchhiked my way from LA with 16 caps in my pocket and a
monkey on my back. And I almost kicked it with the kinfolks.
I walked barefooted in my grandmother's backyard/I smelled the
old
land and the woods/I sipped cornwhiskey from fruit jars with the
men/
I flirted with the women/I had a ball till the caps ran out
and my habit came down. That night I looked at my grandmother
and split/my guts were screaming for junk/but I was almost
contented/I had almost caught up with me.
(The next day in Memphis I cracked a croaker's crib for a fix.)
This yr there is a gray stone wall damming my stream, and when
the falling leaves stir my genes, I pace my cell or flop on my bunk
and stare at 47 black faces across the space. I am all of them,
they are all of me, I am me, they are thee, and I have no children
to float in the space between.
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